


Set

by a_respectable_name



Category: Fence (Comics)
Genre: Belligerent Sexual Tension, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Humor, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-10-26 04:18:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17738852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_respectable_name/pseuds/a_respectable_name
Summary: Seiji Katayama and Nicholas Cox both need years of therapy before they could ever be in a healthy relationship with each other -- or anyone else, for that matter. Let's ignore that and read about their mutual crush instead!





	1. Chapter One - Wait, Is This a Bobby/Seiji Fic?

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place a little over a month after Seiji and Nicholas have made the varsity fencing team. This is not cannon, and yet could it be any other way?

4:00 am. Seiji Katayama woke up before the first buzz of his alarm had ended. His feet met the floor, toes reflexively curling against the wooden planks. His body was so used to the schedule that he didn’t have to think twice about what he needed to do next. Get up. Make his bed. Go to the gym. Get breakfast. The same objectives, the same results. The only variance in the routine was discovering what disgusting article belonging to his roommate, Nicholas Cox, had managed to make its way to Seiji’s side of the room. This morning it was a pair of black sweatpants. Seiji grimaced as he bent down to pick up the offending object.  His hands itched to fold the dastardly leisurewear.

_Why is it so hard for this idiot to be respectful of his and other people’s property? Why should we keep the garish shower curtain up if Nicholas is just going to throw his shit wherever he pleases anyways?_

The yellow rubber ducks rippled as Seiji roughly tossed the sweatpants to the foot of Nicholas’s bed. If he wasn’t going to treat his own possessions as valuable, Seiji certainly wasn’t going to either. Seiji sighed, annoyed at himself. His thoughts had been running over and over this same groove lately; impatience with Nicholas the first thing in the morning. It was frustrating and unhelpful. As Seiji unbuttoned his matching striped pajama set, he steadfastly refused to look at Nicholas’s sleeping form. Last month, he wound up being a few minutes behind schedule surveying his unconscious roommate. He had yet to forgive himself for that unusual incident.

_His posture is terrible even in his sleep. It will lead to unnecessary back pain in the future._

Seiji was always thinking ahead, planning next steps, pondering the logical progression of things. From the very first time he met Nicholas, he knew that other boy did not share his mentality. Nicholas was a creature of the moment. Always reacting to the present. It made no sense to Seiji.

 _Couldn’t Nicholas see that with some intentionality_ \-- Seiji stopped himself, pulling on a coordinating black and white trainer set.

_Nicholas is the one fencer I misjudged. He has surpassed my expectations of him in every way. Fencing him...makes me excited about fencing again. In a way I hadn’t felt in years. How do I reconcile that Nicholas with the one who is an inconsiderate slob?_

Seiji grabbed his gym bag and headed out the door. He shut the door, being careful not to make any noise. He made his way briskly through campus.The sky was clear out here, with almost no artificial light to fade the stars. Seiji did not enjoy taking in the natural beauty of his surroundings. He liked keeping his mind to tasks at hand, repeating this morning’s to-do list on autopilot. Up ahead, he could see that the lights of the weight room were already on. Seiji checked his phone. 4:07.

_Sandra is not usually here until 4:30. It could be Sandra, here earlier than usual…_

Seiji had no more time to speculate, as he had arrived to the door. He opened it and saw Bobby Rodriguez stretching his legs on the blue mat that covered half of the floor. Both boys were equally taken aback by the other’s presence.

“Oh, Seiji! Good morning!” Bobby sprang up from his bow pose, clearly pleased to see his fencing comrade. The same could not be said for Seiji.

“Good morning,” Seiji replied coolly, his eyes sliding away from the shorter boy to the bench where he always kept his bag. Bobby had his bag on the bench. Sure, it wasn’t the only bench. And there was plenty of room to put both boy’s bags on the bench. Seiji held on to his bag as he made his way to the opposite side of the mat. He gingerly placed his bag at his feet and began stretching.

Bobby nervously touched his braid crown as he tried to think of something to say to the fencing god currently pretending he didn’t exist. He had never been alone with Seiji.

“I would have guessed you used the weight room in Castello,” Bobby said as he sat back down to resume his stretching routine.

Seiji shook his head. “It has inferior equipment.”

Bobby murmured in agreement, pretending not to be focused on the muscles rippling through the fabric of Seiji’s sleek black jacket. “I’m in Velona, and the gym there is already full with soccer players.”

_Inferior - that's a word that brings up more than a few things. The last time I tried to talk to someone, how badly it went..._

Seiji was quiet for a few moments. He wanted to choose his words wisely. He knew sometimes the words he said were disagreeable to people, but he didn’t always know why. Bobby, finished with his warm up, was headed over to the free weights.

“I haven’t seen you here before,” Seiji said, thinking it perfectly neutral. Bobby turned around and smiled warmly at the other boy. He picked up two ten pound weights and headed back to one of the weight benches not fraught with emotional turmoil.

“Well someone I really respect told me to train hard and get better. So I am trying a new workout regimen!”

“I see.” Seiji was flattered despite himself. He remembered his words to the younger fencer. Bobby began his bicep curls, and seemed content to enter into companionable silence. Seiji was unfamiliar with companionable silence.

_Don’t worry about him. Get focused. Do what you came to do._

Seiji was too rattled to complete a full fifteen minute warm up stretch so he decided to tack on the allotted minutes to his cool down later. He was experiencing increased adrenaline so he began his core and strength exercises. The mechanics of motion gradually took over his waking mind. The dull hum of counting gradually took over. When he wasn’t counting and stray thoughts started to creep in, Seiji repeated the names of all the exercises that remained.

Bobby was also in his own little world. He had felt that rush of adrenaline too, for different reasons. He was sharing a small space with someone he hoped to become closer to.  Seiji was fascinating, as people of exceptional skill and talent usually are. Bobby had no doubt he was currently thirty feet from a future Olympian, and a handsome one at that. He also knew Seiji was uncomfortable around other people, particularly his peers. Bobby tried to keep his mind focused on the work out by reminding himself that he was invisible to Seiji. That didn’t mean Bobby wouldn’t try to finish his work out at exactly the same time so that they boys could head out together.

As it turns out, Bobby didn’t have to strategize very hard. He and Seiji naturally began to gather their things in unison. Quietly, they headed out the door. Seiji, his black hair sticking to his forehead with sweat now, held the door open for Bobby. Bobby smiled up at the taller boy.

“Thank you,” Bobby said. He and Seiji walked alongside one other back to the main hall of campus.

“What is the next part of your routine?” Seiji inquired.

“I’m going for a six mile run around the track,” Bobby said, pumping his fists and miming running cartoonishly. He was trying to make Seiji laugh. Seiji, on the contrary, looked concerned.

“You’re not going to do drills?” Seiji asked. His shapely eye brows were knit together tightly

“I’m doing two hours of drills in the afternoons,” Bobby said, suddenly unsure if that was the correct way to go about his training.

“I see. I’m going to do drills now,” Seiji said, looking at Bobby expectantly. Bobby was at a loss. “Ah,” was all he could muster.

Bobby and Seiji were both quiet for a moment as they walked. Bobby was enjoying the unprecedented amount of words coming out of the stoic teenager beside him. Seiji was trying, once again, to think of the words he wanted to say.

“I..” Seiji began, but seemingly lost heart.

Bobby turned to him, his circular face open and ready to listen. Seiji, seeing that friendliness, was encouraged.

“If you wanted to do drills together, I could give you some pointers...since you seem truly serious about training harder. Because you didn’t make the varsity team this year.”

Bobby gasped. Seiji’s heart sank.

 _Why did I mention that thing about the team? Does he think I pity him? I’ve insulted him to his very core and he will never, ever forgive me._ Seiji’s mind started whirling downward with intense negativity.

Bobby, on the other hand, was no longer in this earthly realm. He was filled with golden light. He was floating.

“I would LOVE that! I don’t want to get in the way or anything, I know you have training to do too, so it’s totally up to you, but OF COURSE yes oh my gosh!” Bobby only needed one breath to get all of that out, so Seiji had time to feel both relief and take notice of the boy’s lung capacity.

Seiji rubbed the back of his head awkwardly with his left hand, embarrassed by his brief dark spiral of self-doubt. Of course Bobby would be flattered! Seiji dropped his hand down and cleared his throat.

“I mean, I’m not a trained coach or anything. So, you should take my suggestions for just that - suggestions.”

Bobby looked up at Seiji, suddenly serious.

“You’re ranked number two nationally. You’re a freshman on our varsity team. I would be a fool not to consider your suggestions. You know what you’re talking about.”

Seiji nodded in polite agreement to these simple facts. When Bobby turned to face forward, he missed Seiji’s pleased smile.

  



	2. Chapter Two - Seiji is a Classic Tsundere

The sun had only just come out when Nicholas Cox began to stir. He always enjoyed these morning moments waking up alone in his room. No judgemental fencing rival to fill the air with tension.

_That one night where he just...stared at me. After the rematch._

Nicholas shivered. Nicholas felt aware of Seiji whenever the other boy was present. He thought it would change after he, Aiden, Harvard and Seiji became the King’s Row varsity fencing. team An air of camaraderie had quickly developed between himself, Aiden, and Harvard. Seiji remained outside of the group, isolating himself and barely speaking.

_The only time Seiji speaks to me is when he’s annoyed._

There was a constant current of frustration that passed between Nicholas and Seiji. Nicholas could feel the intensity of this charge in his stomach whenever the other boy was around. It was hard to ignore.

Seeing that it was Saturday, all Nicholas had to worry about was homework and practice. Even so, thinking about Seiji first thing in the morning had him amped up too much to go back to sleep. He got up and threw on the first pair of sweatpants he could find, conveniently located at the foot of his bed. Keeping on the grey tank he slept in, he threw on a green sweater and some Nike slides to head to the bathroom.

 _See, I don’t only wear black._ Nicholas thought as he peed. _Who am I talking to though._

As Nicholas approached the cafeteria, he immediately noticed Seiji. Sitting across the table from Bobby. And smiling.

_Seiji does not smile. When Seiji is happy, which he never is, he merely scowls with slightly less intensity than usual._

Nicholas was so distracted that he almost forgot to grab food before heading over to the table.

“Hey, guys,” Nicholas said as he sat down next to Bobby with his tray.

“Hi, Nicholas!” Bobby cheerfully greeted Nicholas with his mouth full of banana.

“Good morning,” Seiji said, not making direct eye contact. Nicholas stared at the mole under Seiji’s left eye. Lately, Nicholas had decided the mole was too winsome to be welcome. He turned back to Bobby.

“You’re up early, Bobby. First day of training?” Nicholas inquired as he bit into a flaky croissant that glistened with butter.

Bobby nodded enthusiastically.  

“Yes! Seiji went over drills with me this morning.”

Nicholas nearly dropped his croissant. Bobby was beaming. Seiji was silently drinking the last of his green drink. Nicholas slowly picked up his glass of water and then gently put it back down again without having taken a sip.

“Seiji...helped you...with drills?”

Bobby nodded vigorously. Nicholas looked back and forth between the two young men trying to decide what to say. Seiji was supposed to be his teammate. Sure, they didn’t get along. Yes, they could barely be in the same space for more than ten minutes unless one or both of them was asleep. Still, Nicholas wished he had been getting hands on training with Seiji.

“Wow. I’m really jealous.” Nicholas realized as he said his thought out loud. Bobby smiled widely, delighted by life. Seiji’s mouth fell open slightly as his eyebrows lifted up in surprise.

_Ah well, just roll with it._

“What, I am! The highest ranking fencer that has given me pointers is Harvard.”

Seiji slowly put down his empty glass.

“I didn’t think you would take my advice,” Seiji said. His eyes were so dark they looked almost black. Nicholas tilted his head in mock amusement.

“Your only advice to me has been to give up because I would never be good enough,” Nicholas reminded him. Seiji looked down, markedly unhappy. Nicholas wasn't sure if he had ever seen shame on Seiji. He thought it suited him quite well, if that's what this was.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Seiji murmured.

Nicholas mimed almost falling out of his chair in shock. He clutched his heart for added dramatic effect. After sufficient comedic timing, Nicholas righted himself.

“Yeah, no shit.” Nicholas agreed. Bobby’s chocolate brown eyes were open as wide as they could get. He was riveted.

Seiji continued, “I can be overly critical and quick to judge. Your performance since then has done nothing but prove my initial assessment invalid.”

Bobby jumped in, “Well, there was the match with Eugene. We all thought Nicholas was never going to amount to anything.” Nicholas flashed Bobby the finger.

Seiji shook his head, “No fencer goes unbeaten their entire life.”

Nicholas turned to look at Bobby, pointing at Seiji.

“What did you do to him?”

Seiji chuckled quietly as he stood up, bringing his tray of empty plates with him.

“I’ll see you at practice this afternoon, Nicholas. Same time tomorrow, Bobby?”

The two seated boys nodded. Seiji went to the dish return area. As soon as he was out of earshot, Bobby started hopping in his seat.

“Oh. My. God. I. Learned. So. Much.”

Nicholas laughed. “I’m glad. But seriously, who was that just now? Did he just _chuckle?_ ”

Bobby just smiled. The rest of the fencing squad had come trickling in and were grabbing their food now. Kally was headed over, Tanner on his tail.

Bobby learned in conspiratorially. “I’ll tell you later. We’ll say I’m tutoring you in bio. Which we actually need to do, so that should also happen.”

“We go to classes? I thought all we did was fence,” Nicholas joked.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

As soon as Nicholas had finished his breakfast, Bobby and he made their excuses. Bobby could barely wait until they were outside on the quad to start gushing. Bobby grabbed Nicholas’s arm and pulled him over to a shady grove nearby. The tall pines that surrounded them swayed in the morning breeze. Once shielded by the evergreens, Bobby did a little pirouette on the grass. The warm morning light streaming through the trees illuminated the petite boy in a golden halo. Nicholas remained closer to the trees, shadows covering most of his body.

“Nicholas, Seiji is just so incredibly cute.” Bobby declared wistfully.

Something pinged in Nicholas’s stomach. He turned around to start playing with the needles on a nearby branch.

“Err, yes, I can see the appeal.”

Bobby waved his hands exasperatedly. “Not what I meant! He’s just a squishy little ball of social anxiety!” Bobby squeezed the air around him to demonstrate the squishiness.

Nicholas thoughtfully tilted his head to the side. “You think Seiji has social anxiety?”

Bobby nodded. “Of course! He’s so lonely and isolated. And he’s always worried about saying the wrong thing!”

“Is he?” Nicholas said with a fair bit of disbelief.

“Yes, he has no idea how to talk to people. And how could he not be lonely? He’s human!”

“Is he?” Nicholas repeated tonelessly as he rubbed a needle between his left forefinger and thumb.

“He is, despite popular opinion to the contrary.”

Nicholas let go of his branch to turn around, crossing his arms as he looked at Bobby. Nicholas smiled. “I’m just saying, I think you’ve always seen him in a very favorable light.”

Bobby raised his right hand and pointed triumphantly at Nicholas. “He was nice to you this morning!”

“Nice-ish. After months of being not nice.” Nicholas thought back over the last month. The month since their rematch at tryouts had been different. The roommates were no longer biting at each other heels like they had when they first moved in together. It was more like they were each trying very hard to pretend the other didn’t exist.

_To pretend a certain conversation didn't exist._

“Were you ever nice to him though?” Bobby cocked his hip out to the right. “I remember you constantly telling him how much you wanted to destroy him.”

“To get back at him! He isn’t exactly a generous victor.”

“You haven’t been challenging him recently, I’ve noticed. After the try out match where you two-.”

Nicholas cut in. “We’re teammates now! We have to root for each other, at least in front of Coach. I admit - I did lay it on pretty thick. I was looking for validation, and Seiji wasn’t giving it to me. By focusing on improving my technique and form, I came to realize I needed my own approval. Not Seiji’s.”

“That’s great, Nicholas.”

“I’m happy for you too, Bobby. Having Seiji train with you and give you advice...that’s an incredible opportunity. And if you think he needs friends, it’ll be great for him too.”

“He needs friends! Everyone needs friends!” Bobby waved his hands emphatically. Nicholas smiled at him.

“You’re a great friend, so he’s starting off pretty strong.”

“Awww, Nicky.” Bobby made a heart shape with his hands so that he was looking at Nicholas through the hole it created.

The boys considered what they had learned silently. Bobby was still curious about something though.

“Nicholas, do you and Seiji ever talk? Like real people, not rivals or roommates who hate each other.”

Nicholas shook his head. “Can’t say that we do.”

“Maybe you should try?”

Nicholas shrugged.

“Think about it,” Bobby continued. “You guys both started here at the same time. But you, you’ve become a part of this place. You have people that know you and care about you. Seiji doesn’t have that. He might be the best fencer on the planet, but his soft skills suck. People go out of their way to avoid him. Or worse, to actively make him feel unwelcome.”

“Because they were threatened,” Nicholas said thoughtfully. Bobby nodded. Nicholas uncrossed his arms, putting his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants.

“Honestly, when I found out I was going to be roommates with Seiji, I was pissed. One, he’s an asshole. Two, because on my first ever match, he crushed me. Physically. Spiritually. Emotionally. I was crushed.” Nicholas looked down at his feet. He was nudging a fallen pine cone with his left foot aimlessly. Bobby waited for him to continue. After a minute or so, Nicholas found the words he was looking for.

“Three, I was afraid of living in his shadow. ‘Oh that’s Seiji’s roommate! He’s not as good of a fencer as Seiji. What’s his name again?’” Nicholas sighed heavily. “I have this thing about being compared to others, I guess.”

_Like my father. Like his “legitimate” son. Like people who have had the money, the time, the equipment, to train properly their whole lives._

Bobby placed his hand on Nicholas’s back sympathetically.

“I feel that way too. My family is really large - I have four brothers and four sisters. Half of them are step-siblings, and between the two households there is a whole lot of personality. I feel like I can be most myself when I’m here, at school. At home, it’s different. I know I’m loved, but it’s easy to feel like I’m not being seen by anyone.”

Nicholas wasn't sure what to say to Bobby's confession. Bobby playfully pushed a branch so that it lightly tapped Nicholas on the arm. Nicholas returned the gesture, picking a branch that would tap Bobby on the chest. The boys smiled at each other.

“Enough about that,” Bobby deadpanned, “it’s time to discover the ecstasy the powerhouse of the cell can bring to one's life.” He headed towards the clearing entrance. Nicholas followed Bobby into the sunlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you ever tried to make a pun off of mitochondria? I gave up entirely.


	3. Chapter Three - Can I Tag this as Star Wars Fic now

As Seiji walked out of his dorm the next morning, he felt a presence approaching from the right side of the building. He whipped his head around to see Bobby, brown hair in an intricate top knot, sleepily walking towards him. Seiji instantly relaxed.

“Good morning, Seiji,” Bobby said and immediately yawned.

“Good morning, Bobby,” Seiji replied, barely stifling a corresponding yawn.

Seiji and Bobby walked silently side by side to the weight room. Seiji held the door open for Bobby, who thanked him and turned on the light switch an arm’s length away. Sitting on the floor, both boys beginning to stretch, Seiji worked up the nerve to initiate conversation.

“Your hair looks very cool like that,” Seiji stated before going for a downward dog. Bobby looked up from his forward fold and smiled warmly in response.

“Thank you, I was going for a Rey affect.” Bobby replied. Seiji frowned in his upside down position.

“Ray like sun rays?” Seiji inquired. That wasn’t the imagery he had gotten at all.

“No, silly, Rey like in Star Wars?” Bobby asked, and it suddenly dawned on him that Seiji might never have seen Star Wars. Bobby tried to remain unperturbed. “Seiji, have you never seen Star Wars?”

Seiji dropped to his hands and knees. “I don’t watch many movies. I have heard of it, of course.”

Bobby gasped, his right hand flying to his mouth. “Movies are literally one of the best things about being alive.”

Seiji frowned, moving to splits. Bobby, not wanting to embarrass Seiji, decided to not harp upon this subject. Oh, how he wanted to harp. 

“Is Rey a hero from Star Wars?” Seiji asked, curious as to why Bobby might want to look like a Rey.

“Yes, she is a total badass. I’m thinking about dressing up like her for Halloween this year! It’s between her and, like, twenty other people.” Bobby laughed. He got himself into a froggy squat, slowly swaying from side to side.

Seiji looked thoughtfully at the ceiling. “You will probably not be surprised,” Seiji said, “but I’ve never dressed up for Halloween.”

Bobby’s head flew around to stare at Seiji, his eyes wide. Seiji deigned to make eye contact with his companion. Bobby swallowed loudly. “You are wrong, sir. I am indeed surprised.” 

Seiji let out a small chuckle. Bobby figured this was an excellent opportunity to further what he was deeming ‘The Socialization of Seiji.’ Casually, he asked, “Would you be interested in dressing up for Halloween this year?” 

Seiji considered this for a few moments. He turned to look at Bobby. “Aren’t we too old to go trick or treating? I’m familiar with the concept, but unsure of its practice.”

Bobby laughed, “We’d be going to a Halloween party.”

Seiji looked stunned. “A...a party?” he stammered.

Bobby smiled mischievously. “Yes, you sweet baby boy. A party. Costume mandatory. You could really pull off anything, because you’re drop dead gorgeous, but we’ll pick something you like and would feel comfortable in.”

Seiji was quiet for a few moments. He stood up, but instead of stretching, he asked, “You think I’m drop dead gorgeous?”

Bobby threw himself back on the mat in exaggerated disbelief. “Come on, you’ve got to be kidding me!” He brought himself back up. “Who have you been surrounded by your whole life? Who has done this to you?!” Bobby pounded his fists in the air in mock fury. 

Seiji laughed out loud. Bobby grinned. “Yes,” Bobby said, “you are very good looking.”

“Thank you,” Seiji replied, blushing. “Do you -” Seiji started, but stopped. Bobby wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear the end of that sentence. He didn’t know where Seiji fell on the Kinsey scale, but Bobby had more than his lifetime’s work of boys of all sexualities assuming he was interested in them just because he was who he was. He had a whole script prepared and everything.

Seiji looked up and saw the concern on Bobby’s face. He wasn’t sure why there was concern there, but he appreciated how Bobby listened to him. It felt nice.

“Do you think other people think I’m good looking?” Seiji said, and then immediately tried to hide his face by doing a standing forward fold. Bobby giggled, joining Seiji by standing up as well.

“Uh, duh,” Bobby said, “If they have eyes. Nicholas literally just said it the other day-”

Seiji snapped up from his bend and stood stiffly at attention. “Nicholas?”

Bobby stood on his left leg, holding his right leg close to his chest. It was time to switch to the other side, but Bobby’s spine was tingling. He was getting A Hunch. Bobby tried not to look like he had any reason to suspect anything, no, nothing at all. Just one roommate asking what another roommate had said about his physical appearance and acting like it was the most important thing he might ever hear.

“I don’t remember exactly what he said,” Bobby started, noticing that Seiji was staring at him intently. Bobby internally screamed with delight. “However, he did mention you were incredibly cute.” Bobby knew that wasn’t exactly true - he was the one who had said that about Seiji. But Nicholas had agreed! In fact, he had even made it about the other boy’s looks when Bobby had been referring only to the personality of the boy in question. It was practically the same thing.

Seiji looked dazedly off into the distance. Bobby switched legs, waiting for a reaction. A few minutes went by. Bobby continued the last of his warm up while Seiji stood motionless. Bobby realized this was the reaction. Almost as if a timer went off, the lights came back on in Seiji. 

“Are you ready for strength and core training?” Seiji asked, all business. 

“Yes,” Bobby said, his mind turning.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Seiji walked back to his room after eating breakfast with Bobby, he tried not to think about Nicholas. Since Nicholas hadn’t also turned up at breakfast, it was reasonable to assume he was still sleeping. Theoretically, he could also be on a run, which meant he already had breakfast before Seiji and Bobby arrived. Or perhaps he eats after his runs, which Seiji himself preferred. Seiji didn’t know what to prepare himself for as he opened the door to his room. His heart was pounding as if he had been the one to go for a run. Both beds were empty. Seiji, too, felt empty.

_ What was I hoping for? Are things going to be different now just because Bobby told me Nicholas said I was incredibly cute? That doesn’t mean he likes me. Last night… _

Last night had admittedly been different for the two roommates. Earlier in the day, Seiji had complimented Nicholas on his speed in the team practice. Later, Nicholas hadn’t tossed anything over the shower curtain boundary. It could have been called peaceful, if it weren’t for the acute awareness each boy had for the other. Neither one of them relaxed until the other was thought to be asleep. There was no ease; there was barely civility. Seiji had thought it a wonderful improvement.

The door behind Seiji opened. Nicholas came in, hair still damp from his recent shower.

“Oh, hello Seiji.” Nicholas said, walking around Seiji who was standing unmoving in the middle of the room. Nicholas set his shower supplies on the floor of his closet. He then began to use the the blue towel draped around his neck to tousle his hair dry.

“How as training with Bobby?” Nicholas inquired. His left hand was behind his head, his arm forming a triangle off the top of his body. He looked up at Seiji, who dropped his gym bag right where he stood. Seiji gulped.

“It was good. Bobby is an avid pupil. In return, Bobby is teaching me a lot about communication.”

Nicholas raised both of his eyebrows, saying nothing in response. Seiji tried to think of something to do with his body. He awkwardly patted his thighs with his hands.

“Did you go for a run this morning?” Seiji asked, looking out the window with a pained expression. Nicholas tried not to laugh.

“Yes, I decided to do everyone a favor and shower before breakfast,” Nicholas replied.

“Ah, yes, I see,” Seiji responded. “I did the opposite, so now must shower myself.”

Nicholas nodded. “Sounds good,” he said.

Seiji nodded back. He began to move to get ready to shower. Nicholas grabbed a navy hoodie from his chair to put on, switching out of his shower slides for his regular slides by his desk.

“See you later,” Nicholas said over his right shoulder as he exited the room.

“Yeah, see you,” Seiji said as he turned around to watch the other boy leave.

Seiji found himself inexplicably unable to stop smiling.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bobby ships Finn and Poe like the good gay soldier he is.


	4. Chapter Four - This Fic is Sponsored by ExpressVPN

_ Well, that was new. _

Nicholas was walking down the hall to get breakfast after just exchanging what could only be considered small talk with Seiji. 

_ Small talk, big step. Definitely the most we’ve ever said to each other about anything outside of fencing. _

Nicholas had stayed up late researching social anxiety on the internet. He quickly discovered it was not a good idea to try and diagnose anyone with anything. He wasn’t sure if Bobby and Seiji had spoken about mental health issues directly, indirectly, or not at all. Nicholas learned it was best to merely observe behavior and impact while being sensitive to the fact that not everyone is neurotypical.

Nicholas thought about how neat and orderly Seiji kept his side of the room. While Nicholas wasn’t willing to start folding his underwear for the sake of the boy he lived with, he could definitely see how some of his previous behavior had caused real stress to Seiji. Nicholas had assumed it was just another way for Seiji to insult and belittle him. But, just in case it negatively affected the mental health of his roomate, Nicholas would try to be more thoughtful.

_ It’s just stuff to me; Seiji does seem to crave order and discipline. He has a hard time dealing with disorder. His coping mechanisms certainly could use some work. I should know. _

Nicholas walked into the cafeteria, grabbing eggs, bacon, potatoes, and bread. Orange juice was added, as was a chocolate chip muffin. He headed over to the table the fencers had claimed as their own. Aiden, Harvard, Kally, Tanner, and Eugene were all chatting as Nicholas approached.

“Hey, Nicholas,” Kally said, moving closer to Tanner to give the standing boy some room at the table. 

“What’s up?” Nicholas asked as he sat down. He promptly began shoveling food into his mouth.

“I’m just saying,” Harvard held up his right pointer finger, “try to find a movie with black fencers. Even as extras. Google will say, ‘Did you mean “Fences” starring Viola Davis and Denzel Washington?’” Harvard nodded once, back perfectly straight.

Aiden laughed, “We need more movies featuring black athletes participating in prestige sports!”

“More movies about black people in general,” Harvard corrected. 

All the boys at the table nodded in agreement.

“Would you guys ever want to be a fight coordinator on a movie with sword fighting?” Eugene asked, following with, “I think it would be an awesome job.”

Aiden nodded enthusiastically, his long blonde hair shimmering. “And think of all the celebrities you would come into close, physical contact with,” Aiden said mock-seductively, wiggling his eyebrows. It had taken Nicholas a month or so to realize the difference between when Aiden was seriously flirting and flirting for fun. Anytime Aiden was talking to Harvard? Real flirting. Talking to anyone else? Fake flirting.

“It would hardly be professional to hit on the people you are meant to be training,” Kally teased.

“I think it would be hard to train people who wouldn’t take it seriously,” Tanner said. “It’s not like it’s their life’s passion. They’re just doing it for a movie. At most, that’s what, a few months?”

“Did you guys hear Seiji has been training with Bobby in the mornings?” Aiden asked, leaning in conspiratorially. “Do you think our Bobby has thawed the heart of the elusive ice queen herself?”

“I think it’s great,” Harvard said, “No matter the motivation. Seiji could use the kindness.”

“And Bobby could use the help,” Eugene laughed. No one joined in. 

The food had gone cold in Nicholas’s mouth. He seemed to have lost his appetite. He put down his fork and stared at his plate.

“Is Seiji even gay?” Tanner asked, disbelievingly. The group fell quiet. Tanner’s blush made his freckles look like chocolate chips in strawberry ice cream.

“Would it wrong if he was?” Aiden asked sassily. Tanner rolled his eyes at Aiden.

“He struck me as more likely asexual,” Tanner replied. “Uninterested in other people in general.”

“Hey, now, that’s getting into stereotypical waters here,” Kally pointed out emphatically. HIs asymmetrical black bangs fell into his face. He blew them back and away hastily. “Asexuality is not the same as type-A personality, which I think more closely aligns with Seiji’s disposition.”

“I didn’t mean all asexual people! I’m being constantly misunderstood this morning!” Tanner claimed, exasperatedly. He was blushing again.

“Or not thinking before you speak,” Aiden pointed out. Tanner mimed pulling out his bushy auburn hair in frustration. Aiden ignored him, steepling his hands under his chin and narrowing his jade green eyes. 

“This doesn’t answer the question. Is. Seiji. Into. Boys?”

Harvard put up his hand. It said Stop. “Now, now, rabble-rousers. Speculating on someone’s sexuality is hardly a worthwhile pursuit. It’s none of our business.”

Tanner slapped his forehead. "That's what I meant earlier!"

Aiden pursed his lips, ignoring Tanner. “Harvard, you’re my best friend, but sometimes I wonder if you have even met me. Hello,” Aiden stuck out his hand. “My name is Aiden, and I am constantly wondering who around me is gay. Nice to meet you.”

Harvard rolled his eyes and shook Aiden’s hand as sarcastically as the action would allow. Nicholas noticed that Harvard’s hand completely dwarfed Aiden’s. Eugene turned to Nicholas.

“What do you think, Nicholas? You live with him.”

Nicholas looked away from Harvard and Aiden, surprised to be brought in as character witness. He casually leaned back on the bench.

“You have all seen the rubber duckie curtain, no? Seiji could be doing any number of things on the other side of that - but what? Could you honestly even imagine him looking at porn? With those angry eyebrows?”

The guys all laughed at that.

“Well thanks to our school’s wi-fi, none of us can look at porn,” Kally said. All the other boys looked at their friend, stunned into silence. Kally self-consciously adjusted his glasses.

“VPN, Kally,” Aiden said. “We need to get you a VPN.”

“Oh…” Kally said, not convinced of this need whatsoever. 

“Seiji’s porn is probably just trigonometry,” Eugene joked. His dark black hair was sticking out in every direction. He looked like a mad scientist.  “All those straight lines and erotic angles.”

“No, it’s gotta be geometry all the way. The curve of the cylinders can be absolutely sinful,” Aiden added, writhing in his seat for emphasis. 

“I prefer triangles. They’re more sine-ful,” Tanner exclaimed, clearly proud of his pun. The boys all hooted.

“I mean, who hasn’t gotten aroused at the sight of certain circumferences?” Nicholas asked innocently, making circles with his hands. Aiden looked genuinely delighted as the other boys drew closer to tears.

“Personally, it’s the length that get me,” Harvard said, staring wistfully up and off to the side. Aiden nearly choked on his coffee.

“Size matters?” Aiden asked as he sputtered, trying to catch his breath.

“I meant the length of duration,” Harvard corrected. Aiden looked unconvinced.

“I see we all have math homework to do today,” Tanner said, looking waggish.

This set the boys off again, harder this time. It took them fifteen minutes to stop thinking of math puns and get their trays together.

“Study session in the library?” Harvard asked the group. Everyone except Aiden responded in the affirmative.

“Sorry, I already have plans,” Aiden’s tone alerted the boys to what kind of plans these may be.

“It’s Sunday morning,” Eugene said, exasperated and more than marginally jealous.

“And why not on a beautiful Sunday morning? After such stimulating conversation as we had?” Aiden sauntered off, not saying goodbye. 

“He must be horny literally all the time," Kally said. No one in the group could argue.

Before this morning, the only time Nicholas had considered Seiji and porn in the same sentence was, “Can’t look at porn - Seiji is here.” Thinking about Seiji having those same needs was skewing his perception of the world slightly.

_ Why did I think of Seiji as inhuman? Is it because even though I live with him, I don’t really see him? DOES he look at porn? What kind of porn? What if he started dating Bobby? That would be so weird. _

Nicholas’s room was empty when he went to fetch his school supplies. He was going to invite Seiji to the study session, for the sake of politeness. He had already texted Bobby, but he didn’t have Seiji’s number. Feeling like he was forgetting something, Nicholas headed to the library to join the rest of the boys.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Use discount code a_respectable_name for one million dollars off your first millennia's subscription!


	5. Chapter Five - Finally Getting ~Steamy~

Bobby and Seiji were running their morning drills in the gymnasium. Their efforts echoed back to them from the white walls and high ceilings. Seiji could see Bobby was getting exasperated with his extensions. 

“Bobby, let’s stop for a water break.”

Seiji walked over to wall where their water bottles were sitting, leaving the other fencer no choice but to follow. The boys’ backs leaned against the wall, facing towards the pistes taped on the planks. Bobby angrily guzzled his water. Seiji waited patiently for him to be done. Bobby roughly brought the bottle to his side, gripping the plastic tightly. 

“What are you feeling right now, Bobby?”

Bobby wiped the sweat from his brow. His medium brown hair was pulled back in two space buns.

“Vexed,” was all Bobby said. He wouldn’t look at Seiji.

“You have a strong midsection. Even though you are short, you can utilize that power for stability. Your body is not a limiting factor to your success. Unless, of course, that is what you believe,” Seiji stated. Bobby smiled sheepishly. He turned to look up at Seiji. 

“I’m not vexed about my fencing. I’m vexed about my life,” Bobby said. He put his water bottle down by his feet. 

Seiji had merely figured the other boy was just tired.

“Do you...want to talk about it?” Seiji inquired hesitantly. 

Bobby turned his body towards Seiji so that the side of his torso and right arm were pressed against the wall.

“It involves you.”

Seiji nodded.  “Okay. What about me?”

Bobby looked fearful of what he had to say next.

“Yesterday, while I was studying with some guys in the library, Aiden’s groupies came up to me and asked...”

Bobby trailed off, not making eye contact. Seiji sometimes had trouble making eye contact off the fencing strips as well. He could not for the life of him guess where Bobby was going with this. He waited silently. Bobby sighed.

“They asked if we were dating,” Bobby said. Seiji didn’t react at all. Bobby thought perhaps he hadn’t been clear enough. “Romantically,” he elaborated. Seiji remained a stone wall.

“Why did that upset you?” Seiji asked. Bobby blushed. He waved his hands anxiously.

“I don’t know why it’s so hard for two people to hang out and have it not be seen as this eventual road to romance! I’m not incapable of being friends with guys just because I’m also attracted to guys!” Bobby crossed his arms and looked at the wooden floor dejectedly. Seiji looked thoughtful.

“What did you say in response to those wretched groupies?” Seiji asked. Bobby let out a chuckle; his eyes, however, remained worried.

“Well, I said no, that you and I are just friends. I find you attractive, but I’m not attracted to you.” Bobby said, becoming flustered again. Seiji nodded.

_ He said we were friends! _

“Yes, I also appreciate your physical beauty without being sexually drawn to you,” Seiji said. Bobby laughed genuinely this time. The boys remained silent for a time. Bobby’s face grew serious again.

“I know who my true friends are, but it’s taken time to find the right people. I guess I was worried if you found out, you wouldn’t want to train with me anymore.” 

Bobby’s brown eyes were big and full of emotions Seiji couldn’t identify. There was one he did recognize - fear. Seiji reached out to lightly touch Bobby’s left arm.

“Rumors are meaningless to me. I’m very used to people being curious about my personal life. Why do they need to know who I’m dating? I’m one of the best fencers in the world. Isn’t that interesting enough?” Seiji’s wide shoulders rose up to his ears and then down again in an exaggerated shrug. Bobby laughed as relief washed over him.

“It should be enough, you’re right,” Bobby gladly agreed.

“Would you like to resume our drills now?” Seiji asked. Bobby nodded and started walking towards the piste he had been using earlier.

_ I wonder if Nicholas was there when this happened.  _

Seiji shook the thought out of his head as he went to join Bobby on the second piste.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seiji placed his gym bag on the bed. Nicholas wasn’t there, but Seiji couldn’t help but notice that his roommate’s bed had been made. It wasn’t an elegant job, but it was a clear improvement. There was no stray clothing on the floor either.

_ Why now? What events occurred in what order to make Nicholas a more respectful roommate a month into the semester? _

He needed to shower, seeing as he skipped one in order to join Bobby at breakfast again. Seiji took off his sneakers and put on his shower sandals. That was the third day in the row he had switched up his routine. Seiji reflected on these changes while gathering his bathing essentials. He thought about Bobby, his new friend. The changes were deemed productive and Seiji gave himself permission to continue to change. He headed to the communal bathroom on the floor. When he entered, he could see hear the water running for another boy. Seiji went to the changing room first. He neatly folded each item of clothing as he took it off, placing it in an empty cubby. He threw his towel over his shoulder and grabbed his shower caddy with him to the medium-sized shower area.

The six stalls were all open in the back so that there was a distinct lack of privacy. Without having to even look, Seiji recognized the other boy as Nicholas.

_ Remain calm. This has happened before. Has it happened before? No, I usually shower much earlier. Of course, this is the reality of living in a dorm. Other people share the bathroom. The bathroom is shared. This is fine. Why didn’t I wear my towel around my waist?! For god’s sake, Seiji, please move. _

Seiji was frozen to spot. Nicholas apparently liked his water hot. Steam curled around the blue tiles. Seiji carefully made his way to a stall on the opposite side of where Nicholas was showering. He was desperate to remain unnoticed. 

Nicholas was facing outward in the middle stall on the right side. Water was cascading down Nicholas’s back. His brown eyes were unfocused, hair slicked to his scalp. Seiji’s eyes might have glanced at Nicholas’s face, but that was only because his whole being was incapable of allowing himself to look anywhere else. At last, he arrived to the chosen stall. Just as one crisis ended, another emerged. The only place to rest the caddy was on the ground. He would have to either bend over or squat. Neither option appealed to Seiji, but he went with a quick squat. Down and up.

_ If NIcholas wanted to look at my bare, naked ass, he could. He could be doing it right now and I would never know. He probably isn’t. No, definitely not. But he could be! Why isn’t he facing the shower head like a normal person??? _

As if moving through honey, Seiji turned the singular metal knob to the desired temperature. Seiji realized he would have to either squat or bend down to get each and every toiletry. He eyed his possessions with pure hatred.

_ This is how I die. _

Mercifully for us all, Seiji heard the other shower turn off. He waited as Nicholas presumably dried himself off and left, listening to the echoes of the other boy’s slides slowly fading. Seiji let out a massive sigh of relief. He was free to bend or squat as much as he liked.

He began to wash his body, but his mind kept flickering to the image of Nicholas in the shower. How his face looked, dripping with water. It had been striking, to say the least.

_ I could have looked at...everything. Everything. But I didn’t. Why didn’t I do it? Looking at people in showers is normal, right? Or is it wrong? Why don’t I know this simple distinction between right and wrong! I’m a monster! _

Seiji brusquely scrubbed the soap from his skin, taking out some of his exasperation with his mental self out on his physical one. 

_ What if Nicholas had looked up and saw me? What would have happened? _

Seiji felt the shampoo bottle start to slip out of his hand. He caught it before it hit the floor. 

_ He would probably have ignored me, like any other person would. You don’t exactly hang out in the showers! Unless...you do? Do people hang out in communal bathrooms? _

Seiji, spiraling, tried to stop by slapping himself once across the face. The flesh-on-flesh sounded harsh bouncing back off the floor-to-ceiling tiles.

_ What if Nicholas saw me and… _

Seiji couldn’t finish the thought. There was something tantalizing about the idea of him and Nicholas confronting each other in the showers. Seiji tried counting; he tried making lists around topics and reciting them. Nothing could keep Nicholas from appearing in his mind on a loop for long. Seiji took the shortest shower of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHOWER CHALLENGE *FAIL* (GONE WRONG) (GONE SEXUAL) NOT CLICKBAIT


	6. Supes Chill

_ Oh my god. _

Nicholas was pacing across the front of the room he and Seiji shared, trying desperately to alter the visuals his brain seemed to be fixated on. Nicholas looked around frantically, attempting to find objects to distract himself. Save for the rubber ducky curtain, the dorm room was devoid of all decoration. Rubber duckies naturally made Nicholas think of bath time. Kings Row Boarding School didn’t have baths, but they did have showers.

_ Seiji in the showers. Seiji with a towel around his neck and nothing else on. Seiji standing, back facing me, as water began to stream down his naked body. _

Nicholas screamed, feverishly clutching his scalp. Brown hair usually styled to accentuate his undercut haphazardly streamed through his fingers. He had been so distracted he wasn’t even finished getting dressed. His tanned torso, lean with muscle, remained unclothed. Nicholas had managed to get black boxer briefs on, and even that had been tense. There were certain parts of his lower region that were being uncooperative at the moment.

_ This is not good. He’s going to be back any minute. And now I have seen  _ _ everything. _

Seiji had dimples on his lower back, right above his ass. His incredibly muscular ass. Nicholas was panting when he heard the door knob turn. He barely had time to cover himself as Seiji strode in.

Seiji had not brought a change of clothes with him. His blue towel was wrapped tightly around his waist. His dirty clothes were draped over his right arm, which was also carrying his shower caddy. Seiji stopped right in front of Nicholas, appearing to see the other boy for the first time. Seiji had a glazed look in his eyes as he gave Nicholas a full-body once over. Nicholas could only watch Seiji’s face as the boy slowly took him in. 

“Hello, Nicholas,” Seiji said, moving past his roommate to put his things away.

“Hey, Seiji,” Nicholas replied, moving quickly to his side of the room. He began to dress in his school uniform. His fingers fumbled over the buttons of his white collared shirt. 

The boys dressed silently. If they had mustered up the courage and turned, they could have seen their matching blushes. 

Nicholas was failing to tie his tie. For some reason, he had completely forgotten how this red strip of fabric was supposed to work. Nicholas sighed in frustration, abandoning the tie on his bed. He went to fix his hair in the full-length mirror attached to the inside of his dresser door. 

A bell rang, signaling fifteen minutes to the start of first period. Seiji, fully dressed, came over to Nicholas’s side of the room. He gently picked up the tie and went over to Nicholas. Nicholas could see Seiji moving over his shoulder in the reflection. He turned. Seiji approached, holding the tie tightly at each end. Nicholas stepped forward, closing the distance between the two. Brown eyes met black ones. Seiji had one inch on Nicholas, but it seemed to Nicholas that he was being stared at from a more considerable distance.

Careful not to disturb the newly adjusted hair, Seiji slowly wrapped the tie around Nicholas’s neck lapels. He made quick work of the tie. Nicholas felt slender fingers brush against his chest. Neither one of them dared breathe. Seiji backed away, still looking at Nicholas. 

“Thank you,” Nicholas said, almost under his breath. His heart was racing.

“You’re welcome,” Seiji responded just as softly. They stared at each other.

The bell chimed again, ten minutes to class. The boys robotically grabbed their school bags like properly trained students. They headed to the door in unison. Nicholas slowed down to allow Seiji to come ahead. Seiji opened the door and stepped aside, allowing Nicholas to head through first. Nicholas ducked his head as he passed in silent thanks, too flustered to speak. They headed side-by-side down the hallway to the third-floor stairwell. Seiji had math this period while Nicholas had English literature. They were going to be headed in different directions soon, and yet Nicholas found himself not ready to part ways with Seiji quite yet. Since the fencing team had practice Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, Nicholas knew he would be seeing his roommate after class. This thought didn’t fully appease him. Who knew what Seiji did in his spare time? Eventually he would come back to their room, yes, but what until then?

“What are you doing after practice today?” Nicholas asked Seiji as they walked down the stairs. 

“Nothing, really. Just dinner, homework...” Seiji trailed off. The taller boy touched his black hair self-consciously. He had left it ungelled today. Nicholas thought it looked nice.

_ Focus, Nicholas. _

“I was thinking about going to find some art for our room. And a better curtain. Those fucking rubber ducks have got to go,” Nicholas stated.

Seiji nodded vigorously. “I am in complete agreement.”

They had gotten to the first floor landing. It was time to part. Seiji was already starting to walk towards Lucca, the math and sciences building. Nicholas was standing still at the bottom of the stairs.

_ Now or never. _

“Would you want to go shopping with me tonight?” Nicholas asked. Seiji turned around, surprise etched on his face.

“Shopping? It’s a school night! Sophomores can only leave campus on the weekends,” Seiji replied warily. Nicholas shrugged.

“No one will notice if we wait until after dinner. They’ll just think we’re in our rooms.”

Since starting at Kings Row, Nicholas had gone off campus with his upperclassmen friends several times during the week. He’d even gone by himself a few times. What else was there to do here? Homework and fencing all day makes Nicholas a bored boy.

“How will we get into town?” Seiji asked.

“The bus,” Nicholas replied as if it were perfectly obvious. 

Seiji blinked. “There’s a bus?”

Nicholas shrugged again. “I can go by myself. I just figured you’d want a say in the new curtain. I do think you can rely on me not to pick anything worse than what we have now.” 

Nicholas began walking towards Bergamo, the arts and humanities building. Seiji held out his hand as if to stop Nicholas even though they were more than ten feet away from each other.

“Wait, I, um, I’ll go,” Seiji said, his uncertainty evident. Nicholas was elated.

“Cool, meet me at dinner and then we’ll head out,” Nicholas said. Seiji watched him walk away, rousing only when the five minute warning bell sounded.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right, boys. Just another five years and one of you might actually ask the other out on a real date!


	7. Chapter Seven - Blue Monday

_Oh my god._

Seiji was pacing across the front of the room he and Nicholas shared, trying desperately to alter the visuals his brain seemed to be fixated on. Seiji looked around frantically, attempting to find objects to distract himself. The rubber duckie curtain mocked him. It was because of this damn school-issued curtain Seiji was close to having a panic attack.

_Nicholas and I, caught going off campus for an illicit town visit. Nicholas and I, in the headmaster’s office, getting yelled at and then expelled. Nicholas and I, homeless on the streets, all because I want to spend time with him!_

Seiji screamed, feverishly clutching his scalp. Black hair, usually carefully coiffed with gel, now haphazardly streamed through his fingers. He had been so distracted this morning that he didn’t even do his hair.

Seiji was panting as he heard the doorknob turn. Nicholas strode in, looking confident and completely at ease with the status of his moral code. All the blood left Seiji’s face.

“Hey, Seiji,” Nicholas said. “I didn’t see you at dinner.” Nicholas hung his backpack up on the back of his wooden desk chair. He opened the top zipper, searching for his wallet.

“I haven’t eaten,” Seiji replied, slumping onto his bed.

Nicholas turned, wallet in hand. “Everything okay?”

Seiji shook his head. “I’m nervous.”

Nicholas laughed, and when he saw how serious Seiji looked, he laughed harder. Seiji did not find anything funny about the situation.

“You don’t have to come with me,” Nicholas pointed out. “I don’t want you to do anything you are uncomfortable with.”

Seiji clutched his stomach. His whole body was in conflict. He was perfectly fine up until fencing. When he saw Nicholas there he had been reminded of their plans for the evening. He was hardly able to focus in practice because of the nerves.

“What is the punishment for illegally leaving campus?” Seiji asked, face ashen.

Nicholas’s eyes went wide.  
“Seiji, it’s not against the law. I’ll admit it’s against the rules, but everyone’s gotten caught. Harvard got caught when he was a sophomore. I think he said it was, like, a month of cleaning something - boards maybe? Aiden was with him, and he had to pick gum off of desks - I remember that,” Nicholas looked at the ceiling, trying to remember what the other guys had told him.

“Do you know if Bobby - has Bobby ever snuck away?” Seiji asked. He wasn’t sure of what answer he wanted, but he knew if Bobby had done it, he had to do it too.

“Oh, totally,” Nicholas said, “Bobby cried so hard that they couldn’t muster up the heart to punish him at all.”

Seiji nodded once and stood up.

“I will be going then.”

Nicholas pointed to Seiji’s school uniform.

“Not like that you aren’t.”

Having just come from dinner, Nicholas was also in his blazer and tie. Seiji was confused.

“How should I dress?”

“Like you’re not from Kings Row,” Nicholas responded. Nicholas went behind the curtain and began changing out of his uniform. Seiji headed to his own closet.

_What outfit makes me look like a normal teenager who is not on the run from the law and totally allowed to be in town on a school night, why, who’s asking?_

When Nicholas was done, he turned around to see Seiji in one of the teen’s monochromatic matching designer athleisure outfits.

“That’s not going to work,” Nicholas blurted out. Seiji looked down at himself dejectedly.

“Do I look bad?” Seiji looked at Nicholas with eyes so baleful that Nicholas rushed to comfort him.

“Of course not! You look great. But your branded content is a little too highbrow to pass for townies,” Nicholas motioned to his own outfit. Plain black tee tucked into faded gray jeans with a black leather jacket on top. Scuffed black converses were pulled out and resting nearby, ready to be worn.

“Nicholas, you look like an instagram model,” Seiji said sternly. Nicholas blushed.

“My whole outfit costs less than your shirt,” Nicholas replied bashfully. He headed over to Seiji’s closet. Seiji watched as his roommate searched through a designer wardrobe.

“You have some great stuff in here, Seiji, but for tonight, why don’t you borrow some of my clothes?” Nicholas offered.

“We are similar in height, although you have wider shoulders,” Seiji said. Nicholas smiled, pleased to be wider. It made Seiji smile too.

Nicholas headed over to his closet and Seiji followed. Nicholas gave Seiji a thoughtful look before diving in. He picked a white tee with black words on it, followed by some ripped jeans and a grey hoodie, all of which he handed to Seiji. Seiji dutifully went over to his side of the room and put on his borrowed clothes.

When he came back around the curtain, Nicholas’s eyes went wide.

“You look like a completely different person!” Nicholas exclaimed.

“Is that a good thing?” Seiji said in a playful tone. Nicholas raised a bold eyebrow in response to the sass.

“It’s a good disguise for the evening,” Nicholas playfully responded back.

“These jeans fit kinda tight in the ass though,” Seiji remarked as he checked himself out in Nicholas’s mirror. Nicholas looked for confirmation and turned a bright shade of red.

“I’m worried about you being cold,” Nicholas said, turning back into his closet to hide his blush. Seiji grinned widely, pleased to be the cause of worry in this particular instance. Nicholas pulled out a red and black flannel, holding it out to Seiji.

“Here, put that on under the hoodie,” Nicholas instructed. Their hands touched as the flannel exchanged hands. Both boys acted like that hadn’t just happened. Nicholas sat down on his bed to put on his shoes. Seiji remained on Nicholas sides of the room as he removed the hoodie to add the flannel layer.

“Nicholas, what does New Order Substance 1987 refer to?” Seiji asked, reading the text of his shirt out loud. Nicholas shook his head in a manner of both disbelief and inevitability. Seiji was annoyed by this knowingness Nicholas displayed.

“New Order’s compilation album, released in 1987. Let me guess, you’ve never listened to New Order,” Nicholas said, making eye contact, head tilted in expectation.

“You are correct,” Seiji begrudgingly admitted.

“We’ll change that,” Nicholas said. A jolt went from Seiji’s head down to his spine. Nicholas patted his pockets, affirming his wallet and phone were in place. Seiji, taking notes, went to grab his wallet from his discarded pants as well. With a start, he realized he had not hung up his previous outfit. The clothes had been laying on the floor. He hurriedly hung the items back up. Nicholas was patiently waiting by the door when Seiji was finished. Seiji took a deep breath, bracing himself for the night.

“Nicholas, I have never ridden a bus before,” Seiji said, knowing it had to be said eventually. He had no idea how the boarding process would work. Did he need cash? Coins? The idea of having to get the proper amount out while people watched and waited - it was hell.

Nicholas was not concerned at this disclosure.

“Honestly, with what I’ve now seen of your wardrobe, I’m not surprised,” Nicholas teased.

Seiji rolled his eyes.

“You ready?” Nicholas asked.

_I can’t believe I’m doing this._

Seiji nodded.

“Just follow me and try not to be seen. I have faith in you, Seiji. I know you can follow directions,” Nicholas said. They headed out the door, Nicholas leading the way. Seiji’s nerves were on fire, but with Nicholas there, he didn’t feel the bottomless anxiety he had earlier in the evening. Instead, it felt --- exciting. It didn’t feel wrong at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More like Blue BALLS Monday am I right? No? I'm wrong? I'm sorry, I'll stop.


	8. Seiji in the City

Dusk was falling. The sky was a faded pink, edged with lilac. The air smelled crisp and full of possibility. Nicholas looked behind him to see Seiji on constant vigilance, surveying the land at a rapid pace. Nicholas had taken his roommate along the edge of the dorms towards the small wood that surrounded the school. It was incredibly unlikely that anyone would see them, but Seiji wouldn’t be Seiji if he wasn’t constantly worried.

“Are we going into the forest?” Seiji whispered, uncertainty laced in his voice. Nicholas tried hard to hide his amusement. His heart felt like it was going to burst and he didn’t know why.

_ Why do I feel like I’m corrupting this poor kid? And why am I enjoying that feeling so much? _

“Yes, we go through the woods, follow a small stream to the main road, and a bus stop is right there,” Nicholas replied, turning to smile reassuringly at Seiji. Seiji did not look reassured, but his frown was less intense than it had been. The boys entered the woods.

The light from the sun had to fight to get through the pines on the brightest of days; now, the boys’ eyes had to adjust to their dim surroundings. Under the trees, everything looked bluer. The sound of running water cut through the otherwise quiet landscape. The boys approached the stream. Seiji looked expectantly at Nicholas, who used his chin to indicate that they would be heading to the left. Seiji nodded once, carrying onwards.

Nicholas still wasn’t quite sure why Seiji had wanted to come so badly. He shot the taller boy a look. In the blue light, it was Seiji who looked like a model. 

_ I wouldn’t have pegged Seiji for having an Instagram. Wonder what kind of photos he takes. _

Too quickly to stop himself, Nicholas thought of Seiji taking shirtless selfies in the mirror. He shook his head. 

_ Seiji is not the thirst trap type.  _

Nicholas, however, definitely was. He wouldn’t mind if Seiji saw those pictures and -

_ -And what? He’s seen me shirtless. He can recall mental images if he is so inclined. _

Seiji cleared his throat, startling Nicholas.

_ If he can read minds, I am fucketedy fucked. _

“About how long is the journey?” Seiji inquired. Nicholas let out a nervous breath.

“We’ll be at the bus stop in ten,” Nicholas responded.

That was all they said to one another in the fading evening light.

Roughly nine minutes later, street lamps could be seen through the thinning trees. The sound of cars driving past overtook the babbling of the brook. The rocky embankment to get to the road was rather steep, but nothing the boys couldn’t handle. Seiji watched Nicholas scale it with ease. Once at the top, Nicholas turned to ensure Seiji faced no difficulty. As Seiji neared the top, his foot caught in a crevice between two stones. He started to pitch forward. Fast as lightning, Nicholas grabbed ahold of Seiji’s arms. He pulled Seiji up and away from the edge of the hill, which meant Seiji bumped right against his chest. Nicholas and Seiji looked at each other, arm in arm. They laughed, shy and embarrassed, as they seperated.  

The makeshift path had led them to a rest stop area, with a gas station and picnic area. The bus was coming down the road as if awaiting their cue. Nicholas headed to a blue and white circular sign - Seiji could make out the bus icon as they neared. The grey bus stopped, the electric doors were peeled open, and Nicholas jogged up the steps. Seiji stood on the street, looking up at Nicholas with a fair bit of anxiety. Nicholas turned to the bus driver, a pleasant young woman whom he had encountered a fair few times before. Seiji began to ascend the stairs slowly, perhaps fearing the bus would begin moving at any moment.

“Two of us, please,” Nicholas said as he swiped his bus pass twice.

The bus driver smiled. Seiji didn’t quite understand what just happened. He stood at the bus driver’s side, confused. Nicholas, heading down the aisle, rolled his eyes as he called to Seiji.

“Dude, I already paid for you, come sit down.”

Nicholas sat down on an empty seat midway back. There were a few other patrons on the bus not paying attention to any passenger besides themselves. Seiji picked up his pace and slid in the seat next to Nicholas, eyes wide.

Nicholas started at the proximity of the other boy.

_ With other guys, we all grab our own seats when we can. I never really thought about it until now. Is it a cultural thing? A masculinity thing?  _

“Thank you for paying for me,” Seiji whispered, leaning in close, ripping Nicholas into the present.

“You don’t have to whisper,” Nicholas whispered back. Seiji offered a small smile, like he couldn’t help himself. “You’re welcome,” Nicholas added at a more moderate volume. Seiji looked around curiously at his surroundings.    
“Do all buses have this blue seat with the loud print on them?” Seiji asked, clearly judging this delightful public transportation feature. His voice was still quiet, although this time Nicholas appreciated his discretion.

“All the ones I’ve been on,” Nicholas replied. Seiji nodded several times, blinking rapidly. 

“Can you show me how to pay my own fare on the way back? Should I get a card like you?”

“Yeah, we’ll get you a transit card in town. And I’ll show you how to load it.”

“I was quite anxious about that part of the process,” Seiji explained.

“I know, before passes it was like everyone is watching and waiting for you and you’re just stuck there bumbling with your wallet, trying to get the correct change without dropping anything,” Nicholas agreed. Seiji looked at him, amazed. It never occurred to him that someone like Nicholas would know or care what that felt like.

“As you can see, no one actually gives a fuck,” Nicholas gestured around to the fellow riders, absorbed in themselves. 

Seiji chuckled humorlessly. “I’m used to always being observed in public. Hell, in private too, with Coach Dymtro or my parents never too far away to offer observations on my behavior,” Seiji explained. Nicholas was serious and silent.

_ No wonder you’re always anxious. That’s the first time he’s brought up that eyebrow scar fuckface since what happened after our rematch… _

“That sounds like that would be uncomfortable,” Nicholas offered. Seiji met his eyes. 

“You are correct,” Seiji stated. Nicholas pulled out the tangle of his headphones from his jacket pocket. He quickly separated the two pairs, handing one to Seiji, who took it more out of politeness than comprehension.

“You can’t walk around like a fake fan out here with a band tee on, not knowing the band,” Nicholas explained.

“Are we going to take turns listening?” Seiji asked, curious. Nicholas dug out a small t-shaped wire from his front pocket.

“Please, I’m always prepared to share,” he said, connecting his headphones to one side of the audio splitter. He handed the splitter to Seiji to put his own headphones in. Then, he held out his phone, indicating Seiji should put the splitter into the jack on the device. Seiji complied.

Nicholas flipped through his music until he found what he was looking for. Before pressing play, he thought he should clarify a few things.

“So the shirt you are wearing refers to a compilation album of the amazing band you are about to listen to. It was a lot of their greatest hits, so while I don’t have that exact album downloaded, I do have all of the songs they included in one form or another on here. Their music has been in a lot of movies and commercials over the years, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you recognized them despite your overwhelming pop culture illiteracy,” Nicholas raised a rakish brow at Seiji, hoping that the jibe was deemed friendly.

“I’m Japanese, in case you forgot, so my references wouldn’t be Western even if they did exist,” Seiji tossed back saucily. 

“I was rather American just then, wasn’t I?” Nicholas laughed, slightly ashamed.

“You always are,” Seiji said cheekily. Nicholas stuck out his tongue. 

“See, that’s exactly my point,” Seiji exclaimed.

“Americans aren’t the only ones with tongues,” Nicholas demurred.

Seiji leaned in. “No, they’re merely incapable of keeping their tongues where they belong,” Seiji growled. Nicholas leaned back against the window, face flushed.

_ Where did that octave come from? _

Seiji leaned back too, unsure of what just happened between the two of them. 

“Did I offend you just now, Nicholas?” Seiji inquired tentatively.

“Just put your earbuds in,” Nicholas replied.

They listened to music together, staring out the windows of the bus. The woods surrounding Kings Row had been cut down in the name of suburban development. Houses gave way to businesses as the bus headed downtown. Seiji had driven through this area before, when he first came to Kings Row. This would be the first time he got out and walked around.

Nicholas indicated that the next street name was the correct one. He made quick work of the audio set up as the bus came to a stop. Seiji stood up and headed towards the exit, thanking the driver. Nicholas hurried after him, also thanking Brittany. 

Seiji was looking around, unsure of what Nicholas wanted to achieve. They had arrived at a strip mall, full of both chain stores and local businesses.

“Ever been to Bed Bath & Beyond?” Nicholas asked over his shoulder, headed for a boxy looking structure with those same words shining down on them from above.

“Can’t say that I have,” Seiji said, reluctantly following Nicholas inside.

Nicholas was a man on a mission. He knew where the bath section was and headed straight for it. Seiji stopped to stare. The overall impression was organized chaos. It felt a little bit like staring into his own mind, if his mind were on the bent for overpriced homegoods.

The boys quickly agreed on a solid grey curtain at a reasonable price, made all the more reasonable by the coupon Nicholas pulled up on his phone. It was decided that Seiji would front the curtain and Nicholas would pay him half in cash. The entire adventure took less than six minutes.

The two of them stepped back out into the brisk autumn evening. Seiji was holding the grey plastic bag, which rustled lightly in the breeze. Nicholas turned to him.

“Are you hungry?”

Seiji started answering before Nicholas had even finished. “I could eat.”

“Come on, let’s go,” Nicholas started heading down the length of the mall. He and Seiji walked companionably in silence.

_ I can’t believe how easy this is.  _

Nicholas took Seiji into an organic cafe a few storefronts down from the BB & B. The inside of the cafe was citrus colored, alternating walls of orange, yellow, and green. The ambiance was bright and warm. Seiji looked over the hand written menu over the counter, decided on a pesto chicken sandwich and mango smoothie. Nicholas went with a hot peppermint tea. As Seiji waited for the food, Nicholas grabbed a table by the window. All of the seating had artfully mismatched decor, and the cozy cushions were intentionally quirky. Nicholas was sitting on top of a plush green frog. Seiji gently lowered himself onto the face of a koala, holding his tray with as much dignity as he could muster.

“Bobby showed this place to me,” Nicholas said, feeling the need to explain himself.

Seiji finished chewing his bite. “The food is amazing,” he offered. 

Nicholas went over to a rack along the wall. He grabbed several free magazines and brought them over to the table.

“Phase two - adding art to the walls,” Nicholas said, opening up the top magazine. It was the latest issue from a local art collective. They paired visual works from local artists with written ones. Seiji peered at the pages upside down. Nicholas deftly switched the magazine around so that it was facing Seiji and pulled out another one from his stack.

Neither boy found anything that particularly spoke to them between the pages. When Seiji pointed out the first of the many cat pictures they were to find that evening, Nicholas took the opportunity to scoot his frog closer to Seiji’s koala. While Nicholas read a rather cringey poem aloud, Seiji let his knees bump into the other boy’s. Nicholas brushed Seiji’s arm with his as he stood to took the dishes from their table to their proper receptacle by the door. Seiji followed him to the exit, and when Nicholas held the door for him, Seiji reached out his hand to briefly cover Nicholas’s. Darkness had fallen, and the small town was aglow with artificial light from street lamps and store fronts. Nicholas thought it was one of the most beautiful nights he had ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for all of the nice things you have been saying! I appreciate it more than you know. This was the hardest chapter for me to write because I hated it very much until I didn't. Okay enough of that.


	9. The Ice Queen Melteth

Seiji couldn’t sleep. The boys had made it back to their room without incident. The new grey curtain softly moved in the breeze forced by central air conditioning. Seiji’s very own, very first bus pass sat snugly in his wallet. He couldn’t hear Nicholas on the other side despite straining to do so. He wanted to make sure his roommate was asleep before he did...what he had to do.

The boys had stayed up later than usual, chatting while doing their homework. Not a lot - just enough. The whole evening had started with Seiji feeling more anxious than he had been in quite some time. By the end, as the two teenagers sat next to each other on the bus ride home, Seiji felt nothing but warm and cozy inside. Right now, however, he was grappling with the hormones wreaking havoc on his mind and body. Seiji felt like he was starving for something he couldn’t name.

_I don’t know what I want him to do to me, I just know that I want him._

Seiji buried his head in his pillows. His face was burning up and there was a body part of his that was demanding certain attentions. Seiji was inexperienced in person, sure, but he had had a VPN since he hit puberty. However, that didn’t mean he was ready to have sex. Seiji knew what he wanted was something less than sex but something more than nothing. His body was radiating with tension that needed to be released.

Seiji didn’t want to masterbate with the object of his sexual frustration in the same room as him. And yet, he didn’t know where else to go. The communal bathrooms were a possibility - that also brought the thought of a soaking wet Nicholas crashing back into Seiji’s consciousness. There was not enough time to get up and get out. Seiji’s hand was in his pants like a lightning strike.

_Please don’t be awake._

This time, Seiji imagined Nicholas looking up. Intense eye contact. Nicholas slowly coming towards him, lifting him up, slowly pressing him against the tiled wall. Seiji’s legs wrapped around Nicholas’s waist. Bodies toned from exercise rubbing together. Wet friction. Seiji bit his lips hard enough to draw blood so that he was silent as he came. Seiji reached over to the tissue box he kept under his bed. He cleaned off his hands and himself before grabbing some tissues to press to his lip.

_There is no way that he heard me. Could he have heard me? I didn’t even rustle the sheets. There was the skin sound….but it was over so fast. Oh my god, what if he heard and he thinks I come instantly like a fucking loser!!!_

Seiji bolted upright to sit in his bed. His heart felt like it would beat out of his chest. He stared hard at the curtain, willing himself to see through the material. Slowly, he got out of bed and crept to the edge of the curtain where Nicholas’s head would be. He delicately pinched the curtain between his forefinger and thumb as gently pulled it back. Nicholas’s sleeping face gradually came into view. Seiji stared at him for a few moments, telling himself it was just to be sure that his roommate was actually asleep. He replaced the curtain and got back into bed at a truly glacial pace. Just as he was convinced he would never fall asleep again, his post-orgasm relaxation hit. He passed out before he could see Nicholas’s hand on the curtain in the same spot his hand had been on moments before.

 __________________________________________________________________________

“Seiji, did you do the Calc homework?” Aiden breezed up to Seiji who was sitting in a window seat in the hallway, checking over said Calculus homework before class began.

“You mean this Calc homework?” Seiji said, raising an eyebrow, skeptical at the coincidence.

“That very one, yes. I just want to double check one of my answers,” Aiden explained, squishing himself in the seat next to Seiji. Seiji sighed, moving obligingly and handing the paper over. Seiji turned to look out the window. It was the warmest day all week and students were outside enjoying the sun while they could. From across the campus, Seiji could see Nicholas.

_Why do I always know just where to look to see that damn kid. It never fails._

The sleeves of Nicholas’s white button up had been rolled up, and he was carrying his blazer over his shoulder. A pang shot from Seiji’s heart to his crotch. Seiji wanted to scream.

“Ah, that’s where I went wrong!” Aiden quietly exclaimed, snapping Seiji out of his exasperated reverie. Seiji looked at the blonde, realizing that the other boy could be a great resource for him.

_Aiden has the reputation for being quite the heartbreaker. I think he behaves disgracefully and disdainfully towards his exes, as generous of a term as I can think of at the moment. However, he does actually go on dates._

“Aiden, can I...ask for your advice?” Seiji politely inquired. Aiden recoiled slightly, shocked that he had anything to say that Seiji might want to hear.

“Ask away,” Aiden replied. Seiji considered his words for a moment.

“How do you know if someone is interested in you?”

Aiden’s eyebrows shot up to his scalp. “Sexually, you mean?”

“Or romantically, yes,” Seiji clarified.

“Oh, romance is just a by-product of the chemicals produced during sex, darling. You can always ask them out, that’ll sort it,” Aiden flippantly responded.

“But what if...you want to make sure they are interested before you...tell them how you feel?” Seiji inquired, thrown by the direct approach recommended by Aiden.

“Well that’s not really fair is it? You’re asking them to be honest about how they feel before you are willing to do the same,” Aiden pointed out.

Seiji’s shoulders sank, defeated. Aiden, seeing the dejected demeanor, realized he was not dealing with a man as confident as himself. He put his arm around Seiji. Seiji flinched but didn’t push him away. Down the hall, Aiden’s groupies looked on in disbelief at their god getting chummy with their devil.

“What do you feel when I touch you?” Aiden asked neutrally.

“Uncomfortable,” Seiji said.

“Exactly - well, not exactly. But do you feel like I’m interested in you _romantically_?”

“No, not at all.”

“Precisely! Because I’m touching you in a very casual, friendly way - like a brother might. One of the biggest tells if someone is interested is if they find little ways to touch you. And when they touch you, it doesn’t feel like this. You can feel their intention.” Aiden dropped his arm from Seiji’s shoulders.

“Has anyone every done this to you?” He playfully ran a finger down Seiji’s arm. Seiji nodded. Aiden grinned, playfully nudging Seiji’s shoulder with his own. “How about this?” Seiji nodded again.

“It’s little touches that tell you the truth,” Aiden said definitively.

The groupies couldn't believe what they were seeing. They were madly texting everyone that might care, and many who would not, about what had just transpired.

“But how do you know if it’s really their intention and not just your desire projected onto them?” Seiji asked, agitated.

“You mean besides asking them? Well, other things I guess. They find ways to talk to you, even if it’s not necessary. They seek you out. Uh, they are usually on their best behavior. Kind, complimentary, considerate. Oh! They’ll be aware of your presence. Like, you can feel them staring from across the room or listening to you even if they aren’t looking at you. Does that help?”

Seiji shook his head emphatically. “No.” The two minute bell rang. Aiden slid off the windowsill.

“Well hopefully one of you grows the balls to ask the other out before you die then, huh?” Aiden snippily tossed over his shoulder as he walked into the classroom.

Seiji’s stomach sank at the thought of nothing ever happening between him and Nicholas. It wasn’t something he was willing to accept.

_I know what it’s like when I make something happen because I don’t accept the alternative. I win my fencing matches because I do not accept that I will lose. I can accept Nicholas not being interested in me, but I cannot accept never knowing what if._

Seiji marched into the math classroom like a man marching into war. Aiden smirked knowingly as he pulled his phone out.

**Aiden**

K Seiji is either going to ask Nicholas out soon or join the army to escape us all

**Harvard**

???

**Aiden**

Seiji just asked me how to tell if someone is interested in him

**Harvard**

Oh the poor thing. Why on earth did he ask you?

**Aiden**

I think bc I was closest atm

**Harvard**

What did you say???

**Aiden**

I told him to grow up or die a virg

**Harvard**

Lol why didn’t you just say ‘Ya u and Nic wanna bang the shit out of each other it’s chill’

**Aiden**

So crude

**Harvard**

Lol why didn’t you just say ‘Nic totally likes you go for it bro’

**Aiden**

That is not my job. My job is to inspire socially awk butterflies to come out of their own cocoons.

**Harvard**

I didn’t see that on your resume when I last proofread it

**Aiden**

No it was right there in the SpEcIaL sKiLls SeXtIon

**Harvard**

w/e eboy go to class

**Aiden**

Don't act like you know what an eboy is. Also, I’m in class as are YOU

**Harvard**

Well then pay attention to your class especially bc it’s Calc and u suck at Calc 

**Aiden**

Yes sir

 

Seiji, oblivious to his classmates’ texting exchange, tried his hardest to focus to what his professor was saying.

_Math makes sense. Patterns make sense. I can find peace in the formulas. I can predict success. I need to call my therapist._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aiden gives you the advice you need, not the advice you want.


	10. The Forbidden Section

Nicholas was studying in the library with Harvard. Or rather, Harvard was studying and Nicholas was staring at his history textbook with a blank look at his face.

_ What I heard last night. _

His face turned bright red. Nicholas knew what he had heard was meant to be private. He didn’t know how to feel about the object of his affections having a quick wank six feet away from him.

_ And then I heard Aiden had his arm around him this morning. What does that mean? Was he thinking about Aiden as he touched himself? We didn’t sit together at either lunch or dinner, which is standard. Aiden is always there though. Could that be a part of it? _

Harvard looked up from his work to see a furiously red Nicholas staring at a closed history textbook.

“You okay there, bud?” Harvard asked kindly. Nicholas’s face snapped up, blood draining from his face. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Nicholas managed to squeak out. 

“Okay, great. I’m completely convinced,” Harvard returned. 

“No, really, I’m good,” Nicholas said again. He stood up abruptly and went to grab a book from a shelf. Halfway there, he slowly sank to the ground. Harvard tried not to laugh as he got up from his chair to sit on the floor next to Nicholas, now laying on his back. His left arm was thrown across his eyes.

“You dead, Cox?” Harvard ask, nudging the nearest foot with one of his.

“I am dying inside, does that count?” Nicholas moaned.

“Why is everyone so angsty teen today, I can’t. I cannot and I will not.”

“Fair.” Nicholas rejoined as he moved his arm, turning his head to look at Harvard.

“Does Aiden like Seiji?” Nicholas blurted before he could change his mind not to.

“Absolutely not,” Harvard said without a moment’s hesitation. He didn’t even blink. It gave Nicholas a great deal of hope.

“Are you sure?” Nicholas asked.

“Positive. And more to your point, Seiji would never like someone like Aiden.”

“That wasn’t my point,” Nicholas weakly protested. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Harvard soothed, cursing his meddlesome ways. He knew Aiden’s approach had been detached from personal feelings when dealing with Seiji. But Harvard was a different man. A romantic man. He shipped Nicholas and Seiji harder that he cared to admit. 

The boys sat in silence while Nicholas remained staring at the ceiling. Harvard dropped down to lie next to him.

“Why do I want him so much if I can’t have him?” Nicholas whispered. 

Harvard scooted over so that their faces were a few inches apart, cradling his own head in the nook of his arm.

“Why can’t you have him?” Harvard whispered back. 

Nicholas turned his head to look up at the ceiling.  “Because I have spent my whole life not getting what I want. Until recently. And it’s been wonderful and terrible in equal measure.”

“So you’re scared about getting what you want?”

“Yes.”

“That’s not the same thing as not getting what you want though.”

“True.”

“And it’s normal to want what you can’t have. Humans have done that shit for ages.”

“Also true.”

Harvard propped himself up slightly so that his head was resting on his hand.  “Just ask him out.”

Nicholas finally turned back to look at his friend. “I can’t! We live together. And the option to not live together doesn’t exist, if you recall.”

Harvard shrugged. “So don’t ask him out.”

Nicholas was silent for a few moments.  “I am not satisfied with that either.”

Harvard nodded. “Here’s what’s going to happen. You will either tip one way or the other. One one side, being vulnerable and risk making things awkward with Seiji. On the other side, keeping these feelings to yourself. I do want to point out that if you want to Coach privately and told her you developed feelings for Seiji, she would move your rooms in a heartbeat. And if you guys start dating, you’ll also have to move rooms because oh my god two teenage boys that are dating and sharing a room in a prestigious boarding school is so not the look King’s Row is going for.” 

“But who will get custody of our new curtain?” Nicholas joked, unable to meet Harvard on the playing field of emotional honesty.

“God, that fucking curtain. Could your tension be any more physically obvious?” 

Nicholas hadn’t thought about it that way.

_ Now that we are amicable, we don’t have the same reason for having the curtain as before. I wouldn’t need a curtain with anyone else. Would Seiji? _

Nicholas sighed. “Crushes suck ass.”

“That they do, my friend. That they do,” Harvard sat up. “What say you to getting some actual work done this evening?” He held a hand out to Nicholas to hoist the other boy as they simultaneously stood up. 

__________________________________________________________________________

Nicholas came back to a dark room. He was surprised because it wasn’t very late, but he conscientiously took off his shoes at the door so that he was quiet as he snuck over to his side. He turned on a small desk lamp to put his stuff away. He took this as a sign to get ready for bed and then watch Youtube videos way later than actually necessary.

As Nicholas stripped to get ready for bed, he heard rustling from the other side of the curtain. As he turned to look behind him, Seiji whipped the curtain to the side. His face was a mask of seriousness and concentration. Nicholas quickly noted that neither of them were wearing a shirt. He hoped the faint glow of the lamp hid his blush for him.

“Oh, hello, Seiji. I hope I didn’t wake you,” Nicholas tentatively offered his words in appeasement. He covered his chest with crossed arms, trying hard to make it look like he wasn’t covering himself up on purposed.

“I wasn’t asleep,” Seiji spoke quickly. He stood in pajama bottoms, posture ramrod straight, arms at his side. Nicholas couldn’t get a handle on his roommate’s emotions at the moment. There were neither vocal nor physical cues.

“Oh, okay,” Nicholas replied. “I was just at the library with Harvard, studying.”

“Yes,” Seiji responded, “There’s a rumor going around you two are secretly dating because you were seen on the floor of the library cuddling together.”

He said it very matter-of-fact and without emotion. Nicholas’s jaw dropped.

“What? Already? That was barely three hours ago!”

“So you two are dating.” Seiji insisted. He stared intently at his roommate.

“No, no way. Harvard is like the older brother I wish I had, you know?” Nicholas shook his head.

“He’s like a brother to you?” Seiji’s voice had turned gentle. Nicholas went to lay on his bed, propping up his upper torso by resting on his elbows. He wasn’t sure if Seiji was immune to him, but he happened to know his abs looked great in this particular position. 

“Yes. The rumor mill is crazy here. I heard you and Aiden are a thing now because-”

“That is utterly false,” Seiji interrupted hastily. “He’s not even like a brother to me. More like an annoying cousin who I have to be nice to because he’s family.”

Nicholas laughed. “That is the most accurate description of Aiden I have ever heard.”

It was Seiji’s turn to become self-conscious as he looked at Nicholas, shirtless, on a bed. Seiji crossed his arms, mimicking Nicholas’s earlier posture. The two boys stared at each other for a long moment. Nicholas reached down under his bed to grab the shirt he had thrown earlier. He put it on, looking away from Seiji. Seiji went back over to his side to throw his pajama shirt on, although he didn’t button it. 

Nicholas needed to talk to Seiji more without knowing at all what to say. Seiji came back over to Nicholas’s side and perched on the edge of the bed. Nicholas offered him a pillow. Seiji took it and sat back, putting the pillow behind his back against the wall. Nicholas remained at the top of his bed, trying not to do anything to frighten Seiji away.

“Are you--” Seiji started and stopped. He tried again. “Are you--?” He took a long, deep breath. “Do you even date guys?” 

Nicholas’s stomach started somersaulting and seemed unable to stop. Seiji was staring at him so intently that he felt it hard to return the gaze. He looked at a spot of nothing in the distance as he shrugged.

“I haven’t ever dated a guy, but I have hooked up with some before. Err, one before. I’ve mostly dated girls. I would date a guy, if I wanted to.”

Seiji nodded once. Nicholas licked his lips. His throat had gone completely dry. He tried to seem nonchalant and unlike a man who had been stranded in the desert as he rejoined, “What about you?” A pause. “Do you like... guys like that?

Seiji was silent for a moment. 

“I thought everyone knew that I was gay.” 

Nicholas quirked his head to the side. “And why would everyone know that?”

“It’s not like I try to hide it.” Seiji shrugged. 

“That’s...true. Do I try to hide it?” Nicholas asked, partly to himself.

“No. It’s not that. I guess I just thought people would have been aware of my reputation.”

“Because you are so famous and so titled and so talented?” Nicholas teased. 

“Yes,” Seiji deadpanned.

Nicholas grabbed the pillow behind him to whap Seiji straight across the head. Seiji looked at Nicholas, stunned.

“What?” Nicholas teased. “Don’t famous, titled, talented athletes have pillow fights?” 

Seiji pulled his pillow out from its resting place to land a solid smack against Nicholas’s chest.

“We have our servants do it in our place” Seiji retorted. Nicholas cocked his head, ready to take Seiji down more than a few pegs.

“This peasant isn’t going to take your tyranny lying down.” A blow across Seiji’s left arm. “My goal is to sabotage your fencing career once and for all!

Seiji’s mouth quirked into a rather pleased grin. “I’m right handed, as you very well know.”

“True!” Nicholas shouted as he snapped the pillow in his hands at his opponent’s right arm.

“Stop!” Seiji exclaimed, hitting Nicholas on both knees.

“You can’t tell me to stop and then do the thing that you want me to stop!” Nicholas replied. Seiji responded by smacking Nicholas upon the feet.

Nicholas held up his hands dropping his pillow. “Mercy, mercy. I beg of your, noble lord, mercy!”

Seiji eyed him suspiciously, not trusting this surrender. Nicholas quickly nudged his pillow to the ground. Seiji, still looking as if he did not trust Nicholas, followed Nicholas’s lead and placed his pillow slowly on the ground. The two boys stared at each other warily, waiting to see who the first betrayer would be. 

In a flash, Nicholas reached down and hurled the tossed aside pillow right into Seiji’s face. Seiji grinned a malicious grin as he grabbed both pillows. Nicholas laughed as he leaned away. Seiji took the opportunity to claim the space that Nicholas had just vacated, leaning over the shorter boy. Nicholas went for another sneak attack, grabbing Seiji around the midsection in an attempt to gain an upper hand and flip the boy to his back. Seiji was not to be tossed around so lightly, as Nicholas discovered when he came into contact with muscle and flesh and no cloth in the way. 

Seiji put a stop to Nicholas trying to flip him by dropping the pillows and grabbing Nicholas by the arms. He forced Nicholas against the bed. The position each were in dawned on them simultaneously. They were breathing hard. Nicholas’s hands snaked under Seiji’s unbuttoned pajama top. Seiji pressing down on the entire length of Nicholas. They could both feel the other’s heart beat through their entire body. A moment passed, and then another. Neither of them moved. 

Slowly, like he was moving through quicksand, Nicholas let his hands slide from Seiji’s back to his sides. He dug his hands into the hard obliques as his mouth fell open. Seiji moved his hands to Nicholas’s shoulders, gripping them tightly. 

A loud knock on the door ripped through the room. The boys, bodies frozen in place, each turned to look at the door. There was a second knock. Seiji got up and began to button his top. Nicholas replaced the fallen pillows on his bed as he got up to answer the door. He swung the door open to see Tanner impatiently leaning against the doorframe.

“Dude, you didn’t answer my texts,” Tanner complained

“Oh yeah, sorry. I’ve been - dicking around,” Nicholas mumbled.

“It’s chill, I just need my flashcards for Chem back.”

Nicholas shuffled over to retrieve the flashcards from the inner depths of his backpack. 

Tanner looked over at Seiji who was staring at him like he wanted him to die. Nothing new there.

“Alright, Seiji?”

Seiji silently nodded. He did not look alright.

Nicholas brought over the cards.

“Thanks dude, see you in the morning,” Tanner tossed a wave over his shoulder as he departed.

“Yeah, see you,” Nicholas called after him, slowly shutting the dorm door. The lock clicked into place as Nicholas headed over to his bed. 

The atmosphere in the room had shifted in a way Nicholas couldn’t quite put into words. It was like energy had built up and then dissipated. He picked up his toiletries to head to the bathroom. 

“I’m -- going to go brush my teeth,” Nicholas said and immediately wished he hadn’t. He and Seiji weren’t exactly in the habit of constantly updating each other with pointless information about their daily routines.

“Oh, I need to do that as well,” Seiji said. He got up from his bed and got his tooth brushing supplies ready to go. He reacted so casually that Nicholas wondered why he was worried it had been a weird thing to do in the first place.

The two roommates strolled to the bathroom together, the first time they had ever done so. They were far from the only ones with the same idea. Everyone greeted each other and bantered as much as mouths full of toothpaste and floss could allow. Nicholas was jovial on the outside, but on the inside all he could wonder was about Seiji. Seiji and other boys. 

_ How many other boys? Any other boys? I gave him a number, why didn’t I get one? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 out of 10, would recommend Harvard for advice giving again.


	11. Pillow Talk

As Seiji and Nicholas walked back from the bathroom together, Seiji’s mind was preoccupied. A few inches to his right was Nicholas, wearing a tight grey t-shirt. Seiji couldn’t stop looking at the other boy’s arms. He thought back to Aiden’s demonstration. He leaned slightly so that his right arm brushed up against Nicholas’s left arm.

_This is flirting. I am flirting._

Nicholas did not lean away. A few moments later, his left arm returned the favor.

_Oh my god. Nicholas is flirting. Is Nicholas flirting? What if I am the only one flirting? I know why I did it but maybe his was just a reflex or because I was standing so close._

Seiji moved away from Nicholas slightly to see if Nicholas would close the gap.

 _Oh no. What if he thinks I’ve just moved away because I_ wasn’t _flirting. Oh no._

Seiji went to move back closer to Nicholas just as Nicholas was going to fill the space Seiji had left. They gently bumped shoulders. Their eyes met as they both grinned. Nicholas let out a small chuckle as Seiji self-consciously scratched his neck.

_That was mutual flirting. I do not know what to do with this information, to be quite honest._

The boys had finally arrived back to their dorm room. Nicholas opened the door and held it open for Seiji to enter first. Blushing, Seiji went in. The boys quietly put their stuff away as they settled into bed for the evening. The curtain remained firm in separating the two hormonal boys, acting as a chaperone might. Neither one of the teens felt courageous enough to suggest they might not need the curtain drawn all the time anymore.

_Privacy from your crush is probably a good thing._

“Seiji?” Nicholas quietly called over the curtain.

“Yes?”

“I was just wondering. I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But those rumors from the fencing circuit? What were they?”

Seiji stared up at the ceiling and sighed. He knew he had to be honest, but he wasn’t exactly looking forward to answering this line of questioning.

“At some of the events I’ve been invited to, there is...alcohol.”

Nicholas audibly gasped. “You’ve been drunk before, Seiji?”

“Unfortunately.”

“I would never have guessed that.”

“Only in Europe. I was a young gay boy with social anxiety who felt isolated from his peers. Alcohol seemed like the perfect bandage. For a night, I could be fixed. The thing about drinking is that you never feel good about it the next day. Also, I read that those who start drinking that young are far more likely to become alcoholics. I had no interest in that.”

“So rational,” Nicholas chucked.

“Always,” Seiji replied in a purr. Nicholas gulped loudly enough for his roommate to hear it.

“Anyways,” Seiji continued, “There were two or three drunken make outs of bad to middling quality. I’ve never kissed someone I actually...care for.”

Nicholas was quiet for a few moments. “Thank you for telling me,” he said eventually. Seiji didn’t realize he had been holding his breath waiting for the other boy to speak.

“Your turn,” Seiji said, trying to be flippant.

“My turn for what? My tales of European makeouts with future Olympic athletes?” Nicholas jested.

“Oh, maybe we’ve kissed some of the same people,” Seiji said and immediately wished he hadn’t.

_I don’t want anyone I know to have gotten to kiss you when I haven’t._

The sound of the curtain rings gently clinking alerted Seiji to the fact that Nicholas had gotten out of bed. The two boys stared at each other.

“If we’re going to talk, let’s talk,” Nicholas said definitively. Seiji’s stomach dropped to the floor. He slowly propped himself up on his elbows as Nicholas walked over to Seiji’s bed. Not breaking eye contact, Nicholas climbed over Seiji’s legs to sit against the wall. Seiji handed him a pillow. Instead of putting the cushion behind his back as expected, Nicholas put the pillow back at the head of the bed. He lay with his entire body pressed against the back wall so that there was a few inches of space between him and Seiji. Seiji lowered himself down back down to his pillow. He was facing the ceiling, acutely aware that Nicholas was giving him undivided attention. Seiji took a deep breath and turned to face Nicholas.

“You want to hear about my love life?” Nicholas asked in a low voice.

_Do I want to hear this? Do I want to know?_

“Yes?” Seiji replied softly, ultimately uncertain. Nicholas chuckled.

“I guess I jumped to conclusions here,” Nicholas cast his eyes down and something rose unbidden in Seiji.

“I want to know,” he said sincerely, willing Nicholas to look at his face again. Unwittingly obliging him, Nicholas did just that.

“Well, my first girlfriend was Elena Moreno, and we were six,” Nicholas started, grinning cheekily.

“Things were pretty serious, huh?” Seiji joked.

“Our moms were really good friends,” Nicholas continued. ‘“There was this whole group of us that lived in the same area, some in the same apartment building, and our older siblings, or aunts, or moms would take turns watching us.”

“Only the women?” Seiji asked.

“There were a few older brothers or cousins, but mostly women, yeah. A lot of single moms, like mine,” Nicholas explained.

“Anyways, Elena and I were in love and we were going to run away together.”

Seiji gasped, “Run away? To where?”

“Hogwarts, of course,” Nicholas replied. “We were regulars at the library, Elena and I.”

“Pretty bold of you, not waiting for your letter,” Seiji smirked. Nicholas’s eyebrows raised in mild surprise.

“So Harry Potter you know?”

Seiji nodded, “Yeah, and I’m a complete Slytherin whereas you are a total Gryffindor, hence our original adversarial relationship.”

“It all makes so much sense now!” Nicholas exclaimed, clutching his fists to the heavens, a vindicated young man if there ever was one.

“How far did you and Elena make it before you were caught?” Seiji gently nudged Nicholas knee with his own. Nicholas bit his lip, staring Seiji straight on. Seiji couldn’t help it - he turned Gryffindor scarlet. Nicholas released his lower lip from his teeth as he smiled.

“The nice folks at the bus station did not allow two six-year-olds to buy tickets to New York,” Nicholas said as he scooted just a little closer to Seiji on the bed.

“Ah, how tragic,” Seiji replied, shifting slightly towards Nicholas.

“After that, I was single for quite some time. There was Charlotte Brown next, when I was twelve. She and I read the most so we developed a nice repoire. We ‘dated,’” Nicholas used air quotes here, “for about six months. She was moving to a new school, and our first and last kiss was on our last day together. I still think about Charlotte sometimes,” Nicholas said wistfully.

_Charlotte, you are not welcome back here, no you are not. Don’t even think about._

“And last, there was Thomas,” Nicholas mumbled. This was the one Seiji was most curious about and here Nicholas looked the least interested in telling this particular story.

“Thomas was - is - a bit of a bully,” Nicholas shook his head slightly. He started to run his finger back and forth on the bit of top sheet that was exposed.

“Did he bully you?” Seiji asked, concern evident in his voice.

_Thomas, I will find you and I will end you._

Nicholas sighed, “He bullied everyone. He’s a classic closet case. Acting like a tough piece of shit to cover up the fact that you think about kissing boys.”

“That’s a sad situation,” Seiji said, feeling more empathy for Thomas than he thought he would a few moments ago. “How old were you?”

“This was fourteen. We were part of a group of guys that would get together for pick up games of basketball pretty regularly. He was always unnecessary rough, and such a shit talker, damn,” Nicholas said, sounding embarrassed.

Seiji remained quiet, urging the other boy to continue with his entire being. Nicholas stopped fiddling with the sheets, putting his hands underneath his head instead.

“One night, after a game where Thomas was a total dickhead yet again, I thought I would confront him one on one. I sat him down and was like, dude, what’s your deal. Do you actually want people to like you? Do you even like yourself? I was so heated,” Nicholas was turning red at the memory.

_Why are you turning red, Nicholas? Are you angry? Aroused?_

“I’m getting angry just thinking about it,” Nicholas mumbled. Seiji’s mouth popped open in shock.

_Did I say that aloud? CAN THIS GUY REALLY READ MINDS?!_

Nicholas, blissfully unaware of Seiji’s thoughts, continued on.

“Thomas, being a maladjusted young man, takes my feedback very poorly. We were just pummeling each other on the asphalt of the court when all of a sudden we were kissing. It was really rough. We hate-kissed, really,” Nicholas chuckled humorlessly. “After that, he would always try making me angry in order to get it to happen again. It worked until I pointed out what he was doing. The whole baiting-me-until-we-hate-kissed thing. He totally iced me after that.”

Seiji’s eyebrows were furrowed in concern when he asked, “Did you even want to kiss him?”

Nicholas shrugged his shoulders, his mouth quirked in a crooked line. “Not...really. I didn’t have a crush on him or anything. But my body responded in a way that...surprised me, so I was curious.”

Both boys were quiet for a few moments.

“So now we know each other’s romantic histories, do you think I could have your number?” Nicholas inquired, smiling playfully at his roommate.

Seiji readily returned the smile. “Of course.”

Nicholas jumped up and out of the bed. He dramatically pushed the curtain aside, grabbing his phone from his bed. He came back over to Seiji’s bed, sitting on the edge as he created a new contact in his phone. He handed the phone over to Seiji, who efficiently entered the digits before passing the device back to its owner. Nicholas looked down at Seiji and smiled.

“Alright then,” Nicholas said, heading back to his side of the room and carefully moving the curtain back to divide them.

Seiji stared at the curtain, taken aback.

_But I don’t have your number._

Seiji’s phone buzzed on the nightstand beside his bed. He reached over to grab it, already knowing who had texted him. He couldn’t stop smiling as he added the number to his contacts.

**Nicholas**

Goodnight, Seiji.

Seiji, with zero chill, immediately replied.

**Seiji**

Goodnight, Nicholas.

Before he could second guess himself, he added -

**Seiji**

Thank you for talking with me.

Seiji practically threw his phone back on the nightstand. He buried his blushing, smiling face into his pillows. Specifically, the one Nicholas had used. It took all of his self control not to make any celebratory noises as he crushed the cushion over his ecstatic face.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as I suspected, neither of them have ever been in a real relationship! No wonder it's taking so long.


End file.
